Olivia the Truant, Part 1

Introducing Charlie, Judah, Alex and Olive.

There is, indeed, a girl involved here.  So, while some of these stories will be M/M, some will be M/F, too.  I hope it’s not too squicky, I’ve just had these guys bumping around in my head for a while now and figured as long as I was putting them down on paper, I may as well share it.  M/F is almost a little squicky to me, really, and I wonder sometimes where Olive even came from.

Maybe that’s why she’s such a tomboy. I don’t know.

The first in what I hope to be a few more stories On the Banks of Jump Creek, this one centers on Olive.

As will always be the case ‘round these parts: This is a story about domestic discipline (think: spanking), conducted among consenting adults.  If you're under the age of majority where you live, or you're just not into all this, you should head on out, I think.

Or go have fun with this neat little drawing tool I found!

WELL.  I think it's neat.

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Olivia the Truant, Part 1

Thursday

Judah leaned against the back porch railing and shook his head.  "Olivia.  What were you thinking?"

He'd apparently abandoned frustration in favor of disappointment and it absolutely crushes me whole when he talks like that.  Especially without looking at me.  I swiped roughly at several tears on my cheeks.

"Did you really think we wouldn't find out?" he asked, quietly.

I looked down at my bare feet on the porch.  They finally sat still.  Several months of fidgeting were over and while I felt a little better, I also felt monumentally worse.

Judah took me by the arm and pulled until I fell against him.  He slipped my head under his chin and an arm around my waist.

"You're unbelievable," he breathed as I began to cry into his shoulder.  I had to stand on tiptoe just to reach it, but let his arm take some of the weight.  "And you're damn lucky Charlie isn't home, you know that?"

"Don't tell him," I begged. "He'll kill me, Jude.  You know he will."

Judah sighed against me and squeezed me once.  "Come inside."  He peeled me away, pulling a clean handkerchief from his pocket to wipe my eyes and nose.

"Please?" I asked as he maneuvered me in front of him into the house.  The thought of Charlie knowing made my stomach flip.

"That's not an option and you know it," Judah said.  He toed off his gardening shoes, muddy and wet, and pushed me through the back door into the kitchen.  "Sit down."  He pointed at the table.

"Plea--"

"I'm making tea, honey.  Sit down."  He took the tea kettle off the stove to fill it at the sink and then leaned against the counter, his back to me.

I sat down and rested my head on my arms, looking out at the driveway through the big picture window. Drenched in bright, early summer sun, you'd wonder what sort of trouble there really could be in the world on such a clear, beautiful day.

Well, I guess you haven't met me.

What Charlie would say?  Or shout, more likely. What would he do?.  I hardly wanted to know, but I knew Judah would leave the discipline up to him because, while Judah takes care of the particulars of school -- things like our individual classes, books and assignments -- Charlie takes care of the big things.

Like me skipping school for almost an entire semester.

We both jumped when the kettle whistled.  I watched as Judah filled the teapot, letting it steep while he gathered mugs.  He brought me some oatmeal cookies from the cookie jar.  The kind that are less like cookies and more like real food, for all the whole wheat flour he puts in them, and the sugar he takes out.  You get used to them, though, and, after Judah's forbidden you "refined sugar" for about six months, you almost begin to prefer them.

He sat down, turning his chair toward me and leaning back into it.

"Why do you have to tell Charlie?" I asked, taking a cookie.

"Olive."  He looked up, surprised and almost laughed.  "For a thousand reasons.  Because we're a family.  Because we both make the rules.  Because I don't operate alone."  He ticked them off on his fingers as he spoke.  "We're a family and as long as we're all committed to making it work -- which we are -- then we communicate with one another.  Especially when things like this come up."

My shoulders slumped and I looked down at my hands.

I was dead meat.

"Now, down to brass tacks," he sighed, sitting forward and pouring me a cup of tea, then himself.  "When was the last time you went to class?"

I shivered on his words, despite the tea, and my eyes dropped to my fingers, wrapping and unwrapping around my cup.  One of Judah's favorites, it was hand thrown pottery and reminded me of our Saturday farmer's market.

"Olive?"

"Oh."  I looked up.  "Yes, sir?"

"When was the last time you went to class?" He looked at me, one leg crossed over the other, an elbow on the table.

"I-- I guess in April."

He took a deep breath and shook his head.  "So, you went to all of about two weeks of your classes."

"I didn't mean to stop going all together.."

He had my report card in front of him and looked it over.  "How did you manage a C in Art History?"

"I guess I liked Art History."  I dropped a cube of sugar in my tea and Judah grimaced as I stuck my finger in to stir it.

"Stop that," he said, handing me a spoon.  "And don't you dare lick it."  he caught my hand as I brought it to my mouth and gave me a Look.

"Sorry." I wiped my finger on the napkin that he handed me instead.

"So, where exactly did you go during all this time?" Judah asked, stirring his tea like a proper gentleman.

"Saint Francis..?" I shrugged and looked down.  "Sometimes McDonald's."

"McDonald's?"  If there's one thing Judah hates more than lying and not minding, it's McDonald's.  "McDonald's and the bookstore?" he asked, incredulous.

"I.. also walked around," I said.

"Child, I could throttle you," he sighed, tipping his head back and raking fingers through his hair.  "What if something had happened to you?  We would have looked in all the wrong places first.  By the time we'd have figured out where to look, it could have been too late."

He and Charlie come up with these scenarios in their heads about all The Terrible Things That Could Possibly Happen to Alex and Olive when we disobey them.  We've never quite been able to discern what takes place in their hypothetical situations, but I have a feeling they involve a lot of kidnapping, murder and being, "dead in a ditch somewhere," as Judah likes to say.

They probably aren't rooted very firmly in reality, but I usually try not to point it out.

I couldn't look at him.  "Alex usually knew where I was," I said, quietly.

"You told Alex?"

"But he tried to make me stop," I said, quickly.  "You won't get him in trouble, will you?"

"I don't get anyone in trouble," Judah tipped my chin up with the back of his thumb.  "And, believe me, I'm much too focused on your misbehavior to be concerned with what Alex did or did not know.  Anyway, it's not his job to tell on you."  He gave me a stern look and went back to nursing his tea and looking my report card over.  "Did you read anything educational at that bookstore?" he asked, absently.  "Because you obviously got nothing out of the education we spent so much money on."

I started to cry again and Judah looked up, sighing for the hundredth time.  "Olive Jane," he said, shaking his head.  "What are we going to do with you?"

"Feed me to the angry doctor," I said, thickly.

He raised an eyebrow and I squirmed.

"...what are you going to do with me?" I asked after a moment.

"That's for Daddy and I to decide when he gets home."

"He'll probably beat me to death..." I said under my breath.

"What was that?"

"Sorry."

"Nobody in this house has ever beaten you, nor would I let them," Judah said, his eyes softening.  "You're the one who did this, Ollie.  You got yourself into this situation, nobody else. And it's a sticky situation, you're right.  Charlie's going to be one angry Daddy.  But you're going to face this and we're all going to deal with it.  Besides, I've never met one of your sticky situations that Charlie and I couldn't help you resolve, have you?"

I shook my head, rubbing my wet eyes with my fists.

"No," he said.  "So, we'll get it fixed.  In the meantime, I think I can put my finger on why you've been sleeping so poorly, what do you think?"  He stood and pulled me out of my chair, into his arms, letting me cry for a few moments before pulling me away.  "I'm going to put you down for a nap," he said.  The look he was giving me dared me to argue with him.  "Let's go."

He led me up the stairs by the arm, stopping in the bathroom to wash my face and hands.

"Stop crying," Judah soothed, rubbing my back as he helped me out of my clothes and into one of Charlie's old T-shirts, the kind that I positively swim in.  "Lay down."  He pulled the cool blankets up around me and sat down on the bed.  "It's true that you're firmly in disgrace," he said, grimly.  "And we will deal with this when Charlie gets home, but the ball is out of your court now.  I've got you, Charlie's got you.  We're going to fix this somehow and you're going to be fine, do you understand me?  Don't start getting dark and fatalistic."

"Yes, sir."

"And if you get up before Daddy gets home, Olive," he said, his face very close to mine, "I'll give you a spanking."

Charlie is scary.  Believe me.  But it's often easy to tune him out when he gets to lecturing, because he's mad and that man can rant.  Judah, though, manages to be, at once, reassuring and scary as hell.  If he means business, there is no tuning him out.

I didn't dare do anything but nod my compliance.  Judah kissed my forehead, opened a window to allow fresh air in, and left, leaving the bedroom door open.

It's super hard to sleep when you know you're just about to be killed by a big, scary doctor.  But I listened to Judah downstairs in the kitchen, starting dinner and doing dishes.  I heard Alex come in from his bike ride and I couldn't make he and Jude's conversation out, but the bedroom was warm, my eyelids were heavy, and the rise and fall of their familiar voices quickly lulled me to sleep.

Maybe I was in disgrace, but Judah and Charlie were going to fix it.  And being in disgrace felt a whole lot better than having a big, scary secret.

Allowing me to sleep through dinner and all the associated clamor must have been a great feat and it was past 11:00pm when Charlie came upstairs.  Judah must've told him something pretty persuasive, too, because he was calm and even gentle.

The days were warm, but the nights were still cold and Charlie woke me, helping me patiently into warm pajamas.

"Go brush your teeth," he said, softly and stood by quietly as I did.  When I finished, he washed my face firmly with a wet washcloth, and led me into the bedroom, pulling back the covers.

"Are you mad?" I asked, still a little sleepy.

"Get in bed."

"That mad?" I asked, quietly.

A firm pat to my bottom got me quickly under the covers and he turned out the lamp.

"...Charlie?"

I'd thought the shouting would be awful, but, somehow, the silence was worse.

"Olive?"

"Do you hate my guts?"

He sighed loudly and crawled silently onto the bed, laying down on his back next to, but not touching, me.

"It's just-- you're not shouting," I said after a long moment of silence.  "And I can't tell if that's good, or if that's really, really bad.'

"I'm upset, Olive," he said, evenly.  "How did you think I'd feel?"  He looked over at me and then back at the ceiling.

I'd expected this exchange to be so much louder.  What had Judah said to him?

I stared up at the ceiling.  He stared up at the ceiling.  Something about not having to face each other made the conversation easier on both of us.

"Why would you do something like this?" he asked, finally.

"I don't know," I mumbled.

"Oh, you do know," he said.

I didn't answer.

"Why, Olivia?  You lied to us for three months, made Alex carry your secret around which just about drove him crazy, and you wasted about 4,000 dollars.  There had better be a good reason."

"I hate school," I said, softly.

Charlie laughed, darkly.  "You did this because you hate school."

"I said I don't know," I said.

"And I'm saying," he was sounding irritated now.  "That you do know."

Judah says we feed off each other.  That neither of us are happy unless we've gotten the last word.  I guess that's true.  I say, Charlie makes me mad and he makes me mad on purpose.

"I hate school," I said, petulantly.  "I've told you this about five hundred times.  I tell you every single day.  It's not my fault you never listen."

"You skipped three months of school because.. because you don't like it?" he asked, baffled.

"I don't dislike it.  You really don't listen, do you?  I hate school, Charlie.  It's like a vice on my skull that makes me feel like my head is going to pop.  I can't stand being there, I can't stand thinking about being there--"

"Are you kidding me?" his voice was getting louder.  Judah would probably come upstairs soon.  "There are better ways, Olivia, to make a point.   Skipping endless hours of school is somewhere near the very bottom.  Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Better ways?  Yeah, like what?" I demanded.  "And why should I have to make a point anyway?  You're supposed to love me!  You're supposed to listen to me when I talk!"

"Please, Olive."

"Well?  It worked, right?  I got your attention.  So, I don't want to be in school.  I HATE it.  I hate it like you hate.. TV!  And football.  And-- and Republican talk radio!  You know I hate it and I'm not even good at it--"

"But you barely try," he interrupted.

Tears of frustration pricked the backs of my eyes and I balled my hands into quiet fists.  "If you only knew how hard I do try, Charlie Ellis, and that's just to do half as well as Alex and everybody else!  You always say that to me, that I just don't try, but I do try!  So, maybe this isn't the best way to have made my point, but what the hell else was I supposed to do?"

Charlie sighed next to me, pushing his hand up against mine, the simple touch grounding both of us.

"You wouldn't listen to me," I said, running my arm over my wet eyes.

"Move over," Judah said, coming quietly into the bedroom in flannel pants and a T-shirt.

"Move over," I said, grumpily to Charlie.

"Three don't fit in these beds, that's why we have more than one," he growled, sitting up to move.

"Stop," Judah said, lightly, and laid down on my other side.  "Both of you.  You're upsetting Alex."

"Is he in bed?" Charlie asked, looking over at Judah.

"He's in the library with a movie so he doesn't have to hear you," Judah said, pointedly.  "So, what are we yelling about in the middle of the night?"

Charlie and I were silent for a few moments, each waiting for the other to speak first.

"Olive says we don't listen," Charlie said, finally, settling back on the bed, this time a little closer than either of us wanted to be to one another.

"You don't," I said.

"About what?" Judah put his hands behind his head and yawned.

"School," Charlie and I said at once.

Judah chuckled.  "She hates school.  You hate school?"  He looked to me.

"Yes."

"See?  I listen.  You didn't know she hated school?  She says so every day."

Charlie growled again, Judah's light sense of humor not penetrating his surly mood.  "So, she hates school.  Nobody likes school."

"I liked school," Judah said.

"Well, nobody asked you," Charlie said, sullenly.

"See?" I said to Charlie.  "I shouldn't have to go if I hate it."

"Don't get mouthy," Judah said.  "There are a lot of things a person hates but has to do anyway.  Olive, you never sat Daddy and I down and told us -- in a way that we could hear," he looked at me, pointedly, "That you hated school.  All you did was shout and gripe when it was time to do homework or go to class and you do that when I tell you it's time to see the dentist or to go and feed the chickens."

"Yeah," Charlie said.  Ever the wordsmith.

Judah laughed at him and continued, "My point is, you whine on a regular basis.  Whining isn't communication."

"I don't always whine!" I said and I went to sit up to defend myself but Judah gently pushed me back and buried a hand in my hair, rubbing my scalp soothingly with his fingertips.

"I'm not saying we couldn't have done things better, because obviously we missed something huge and that's not to be taken lightly, but we also weren't directly told.  And I can understand how you might have felt justified in making a point, but you still chose the worst possible way to have made it."

"That's what I'm saying!" Charlie said.

"Well, that's not what you said," I groused.

"Watch your mouth," Judah said, smacking the top of my thigh.  "And don't make me say it again.  Now, are you understanding what I'm saying?" Judah asked.

"Maybe," I said.  "But you still have to have the school conversation with me and I am not going back."

"Okay," Charlie said, propping himself up on one elbow and glaring down at me.  "First of all, you don't get to make declarations about what you are and aren't doing, do you understand me?"

I looked away and he pulled my face back with a finger until I nodded.

"And, second," he said.  "We will be having a conversation, but absolutely not on your terms."

"Charlie..." Judah said.

"What?"  He looked up.

I sighed and crossed my arms.  "So, you don't care that I'm right and you're just going to spank me until I promise to agree with you," I said, flatly.

Charlie just about lunged for me, but Judah pushed him away, calmly stood, taking me by the arm and hauled me out of bed.

He flipped the dim lamp on and in a mere handful of seconds, had flipped me, bottom up, under his arm.  He slipped my pajamas down to my knees, but didn't bother lowering my underwear, simply tugging them up higher and focusing mainly on my thighs.  He spanked firmly, lecturing the whole time.

"You talk like that and wonder why you're going to get a spanking?" he asked as he swatted me.

You mean, this isn't it?

"What you did was entirely out of line, absolutely disproportionate and just plain rotten.  It was a dreadful thing to do, Olivia, and you will not downplay the severity of your inappropriate behavior by trying to make this our fault.  We all could have done things to make this situation better, but if you don't let us know what needs to be done, then we can't do it.  Daddy and I can't read your mind!  Heaven knows if we could, you'd spend a hell of a lot more time with a sore bottom.  And probably all for the better."  He spanked me five or six more times and stood me up.

There was a long silence as I rubbed my bottom, pulled up my pants and glared at both of them.

"But I'm right," I said, tearfully.

"Being right doesn't get you off the hook," Judah said, unwavering.

"But--"

"And I'm glad we're talking about it," he said, "But that doesn't change the fact that we just spend most of a semester paying for classes you haven't been taking, nor does it change all the months you spent lying to us."

"Lying is cut and dry," Charlie said.  "And you know it.  You lie to us, I spank you silly.  Period.  Don't give me that look."

I turned back toward Judah who didn't cut me much more slack.

"We don't throw money around," Judah said, balancing Charlie's harsh tone with a softer one.  "You know that.  It's disrespectful to the entire family when you spend that much money in ways we haven't discussed beforehand."

"But I didn't spend it!" I protested.  "You guys did!"

"Olivia," Charlie said, exasperated.

"No," Judah said, smacking my bottom back toward the bed.  "Lay back down and don't smart off again.  No, we spent it on school.  You didn't go to school, which had nothing to with us, and, in doing so, you threw a good chunk of money down the drain without consulting anyone else."

"I work for that money," Charlie put in, stubbornly, scooting over as I laid back down beside him.

"Charlie Ellis," Judah said, shaking his head and laying beside me.

"But I told you I hate school," I interrupted them, tearfully.  "That should let you know that spending money on it isn't a good idea."

"Seriously?" Charlie flopped back down on the bed, going back to staring at the ceiling with Judah and I.

"This is all beside the point, honey," Judah said, calmly.  "You're not to lie to us.  I don't care if it's trade secrets, government secrets, or just in making a point.  You don't lie when it comes to me and Daddy and you know that.  Further, you knew when you did this that it was wrong, I could tell by the look on your face when I pulled that report card out of the mail this morning--"

"You can tell that by looks?" Charlie whispered.

Judah pointedly ignored him.  "So, you can justify your actions all you want, but you still broke the rules and there are consequences."

"So, you're still going to spank me."

"In a word--"

"Yes," Charlie interrupted.  "Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes."  He sat up and looked down at me.  "You broke every single rule in the book, Olive Jane.  We didn't know where you were during those hours.  If something had happened to you..  Christ, girl, you scare the shit out of me sometimes!"

His voice was loud and something about it made me feel a little better.  This was Charlie.  This was a proper Charlie reaction.

"How am I supposed to be able to trust you after this?" he continued.  "How can I trust you with our money if I know you have this little regard for it?  How can we even let you out of our sight?"

"We're not going to," Judah said, looking at me.

"We could have listened better," Charlie went on.  "And we should have listened better, but you should not have done this and I don't care how you justify it, that fact remains.  You're getting spanked tomorrow morning before I go to work and it's non-negotiable.  Do you understand me?"

I swallowed and he Looked at me.

"Answer Daddy," Judah prodded, gently.

"I understand you," I said, sulkily.  "But I still don't--"

"Your thoughts on the matter," he said, pointing at me, "Are not my primary concern at the moment.  Your deceit and your safety are."

I opened my mouth to argue, but he interrupted me again.

"I'm angry, Olivia.  And, the way I see it, I have every right to be.  You scared me and you obviously still don't understand the gravity of your disobedience, because you're continuing to argue.  I've had enough.  You're getting a spanking in the morning.  You were incredibly out of line.  The end."  And he slid down off the bed and started undressing in the dark to put on pajamas.

There wasn't a whole lot to say to that, even if I'd had the guts to, so I laid in stunned silence, letting Judah pull me to his chest.

"He's angry," I whispered, very softly into Judah's ear.

Judah just looked at me like, well, what did you expect?, got up, and walked past Charlie to the bathroom.  "We still need to talk about what's going to happen after the spanking," he said from the bathroom where he was rifling through the laundry basket.

"Where are my pants?!" Charlie demanded, kicking at clothes on the floor.

"Right here." Judah came out of the bathroom and handed them to Charlie, coming back to lay down next to me.  "Now, get back here so we can talk."

"I don't have anything left to say.  I'm furious."

"We gathered as much," Judah said.  "But we still have to talk.  Come sit down."

Charlie sighed and came back to the bed, shirtless, in the flannel pants Judah had given him.  He took a deep breath, collecting himself and laid back, resting on his elbows.

"I'm sure you know this isn't a spank you and be done with it scenario," Judah said to me, gently.  "This was a serious breech of trust and it's going to take a long time for you to earn back what you've lost."

I looked away from him.

"No, you don't get to do that.  Look at me."  He turned my face back.  "You're grounded."

"For how long?" I asked, miserably.

"Indefinitely," Charlie said, grimly, from the foot of the bed.

"Indefinitely," Judah confirmed.  "In hindsight, we probably should have seen this coming.  Everybody was busy last semester, nobody paid enough attention to you and you've been spinning out for a while now, haven't you?  Now it's time to come back and we're going to tighten the reins."

What all that means, I'm not even sure.  Thankfully, Charlie likes to translate.

"He means we're going to be the mean daddies and you're not going to like it," Charlie said.  "You're going to be within sight of one of us 24 hours a day.  You'll stay with Judah while I'm at work and you'll be helpful and pleasant.  You'll go to bed at 9:00 every night, sleep in here with me, and wake up when I do.  We won't tolerate a bad attitude, whining, or disobedience, no matter how small.  If we tell you to jump, you'll ask how high and then you'll do it without complaint."

Judah sat up, propping himself against the headboard.  He looked down at me.  "If we can't trust you to obey in the small things, then we certainly can't trust you to obey in the big things, like school.  So, we're going to backtrack.  And learn how to do the small things again."

"And you'll learn to obey the first time, every time, or there will be consequences," Charlie said.

"I know how to obey," I sighed.  "This is stupid.  What if I need to go to the bathroom?"

"If you knew how to obey," Judah said, calmly, "Then you would have listened to me the first time I told you not to mouth off, wouldn't you?  And I wouldn't have had to pick you up and spank you.  Try it one more time, Miss Olive, and I'll give you another spanking."

Charlie actually answered my question.  "If you need to go to the bathroom, you'll wait until one of us can take you."

"But how long are we going to do this?" I asked again.

"Until you're able to obey," Judah shrugged.  "The first time.  Every time."

"Every single time?" I asked, incredulous.  "Don't you think this is kind of a lot to ask of someone with, you know, independent thinking skills?  What do you want here, a Stepford wife?"

Judah sighed and pulled me out of bed with him.

"I'm sorry!" I said, struggling until he let go.

"Stop."  He said and swatted me once.  Then he waited for a few seconds for me to stand still, took me by the arm again, and bent me easily over his hip.

This time he pulled my underwear down, putting a good amount more color into my bottom than he had the first time.

"Of course we don't want a Stepford wife, but we do expect you to mind us," he lectured as he spanked me.

I hissed and stamped one foot, wiggling against his hip.

"You don't have to give up independent thought to be obedient.  We do not have unrealistic expectations of you."

Ow, ow, ow.  Those are my thighs and could you please smack somewhere else for just a minute?

"We don't want you to be perfect.  We won't live like this forever.  As we find out we can trust you, you'll be given more freedom, but for the time being, I'll keep bending you over every time you disobey me.  Is that clear?"

He stood me up and replaced my pants, straightening my clothes.

"Yes, sir," I said, rubbing at tears with the back of my hand.

"I love you," Judah said, firmly, holding me against him.  "I love you so much it hurts.  I don't like to spank you.  You don't like it.  Daddy doesn't like it--"

"I mean, she is kind of cute when her butt's all--" Charlie interrupted.

"Charlie Ellis," Judah threatened through clenched teeth.

"I don't like it either," Charlie said, sincerely, standing up and coming to us.  He stood behind me and stroked my hair.  "I think that's enough for one night.  Everybody's tired and Judah's probably going to stop talking to me in a minute."  He kissed the back of my head and peeled me gently away from Judah.

"You're no better than this one, you sarcastic so and so," Judah said, exasperated.

"You love me," Charlie grinned, leaning over me to kiss Judah.

"I have to go get Alex," Judah said.  "He's probably asleep on the couch.  Poor baby.  We left him alone all night.  You two, go to sleep."  He cuffed Charlie lightly on the back of the head, then bent and kissed my hair.  "Goodnight, baby.  I'll see you in the morning."

Charlie put me back in bed with a kiss, brushed his teeth and then came to bed himself, sliding in next to me.  I could still feel the heat coming off him and tried to furtively keep as far to my side of the bed as possible.

"C'mere," he growled.

"No, thank you," I said, quietly.

"Olivia."

"What?  You're mean."

"Me-- I'm mean?  Judah spanked you twice and I'm the meanie?  You're just a happy little treasure tonight, aren't you?" he said, gruffly.  "Get over here."  And he reached for me, pulling me up to his chest.  "There has got to be some sort of cream I can apply to make you behave.  Some sort of.. snake oil?  Do they make that anymore? I could half murder you, you know."

"I'm not sleepy," I said.

"Tell someone who cares.  Stop talking."

"I don’t like you."

He swatted me good and hard and gave me a Look.  "Hush up."

We were quiet for a while and I tried to struggle out of his grip once, only to get the same rough treatment I'd received for talking.  I almost thought he'd gone to sleep and was planning my grand escape back to my own side of the bed, when he spoke softly.

"So, you're mad."

"...nobody listens to me."

"Well, you don't listen to me," he said.  "And I'm mad, too, you know."

"I picked up on that.  Actually."

He sighed and stroked my arm for a moment before taking a deep breath and putting his gentle tone on.  "Tell Daddy why you're mad."

"I don't like the before-you-go-to-work spankings," I whined, quietly.

"But you like the others just fine?"

I smacked him on the chest and got smacked harder on the butt.  I looked up at him with tears in my eyes.  "I'm sorry I'm awful," I said, burying my face in his chest.  It felt like all day had been spent crying.

"You're not awful," Charlie whispered.  "You're my good girl.  My somewhat naughty, good girl, but my good girl.  Aren't you?"

I shook my head and cried harder.

"Oh, darlin’, what will Daddy do with you?"

"Please don't spank me," I begged.  "I promise not ever, ever to do it again."

"No more spanking talk, remember?  It's bedtime."

"I'm sorry," I sobbed.  "And you're mad and Jude's mad and probably Alex is mad."  I raised my head to look at him.  "Please stop being mad?"

"Please stop crying?"

"But--"

"Stop crying," he said, softly, running his fingers over my back and arms.  "Go to sleep.  And don't make me tell you a story because all I've got are three cases of chickenpox and four immunizations.  Don't you think Daddy's heard enough crying for one day?" he chuckled.

I didn't want to laugh, but I did, sniffling and quieting my breath.  I focused on his careful fingers over my skin and his warm body beneath mine.

Very softly, he began to hum one of the hymns that Judah sings all day long.  Jude and I grew up with hymns, but Alex and Charlie just pick the tunes up here and there.  The refrain was off, but it was soothing and the words tumbled over in my head, as natural to me as breathing.

For the beauty of the earth

For the glory of the skies

For the love which from our birth

Over and around us lies

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This, our hymn of grateful praise

"You can't spank me," I said, very quietly, as he got too sleepy to hum.

He sighed.  "I have to spank you and I really don't like talking about it."

"It's a chore now?"

"You think I like it?" he yawned.

"I know you like it."

He chuckled, sleepily.  "I like the part where you have a sweet, red bottom and it stands in the corner.  That part's cute because your lip sticks out and, poor baby, you're still hiccupy and your hair's a mess.  I like that you let me put you back together again.  But I hate that you cry, Olive, I hate that you cry and I hate that I have to hold you still, knowing it's my fault you're wiggling.  Although, I like the way you wiggle."

I laughed and pinched him.  He put a big hand over mine and held it.

"It's a conflicted process and maybe I like some of it, but not most of it.  So, no, overall, I don't like it and I like talking about it even less, so stop."

"If you don't like it, you shouldn't do it," I said.

He smiled and ran his fingers through my hair.  "I wish it were that easy, too, darlin’.  Now, don't make me tell you to be quiet again.  I'm exhausted."

I was quiet, but it took me ages to fall asleep.  Long after Charlie had drifted off, I stared at the ceiling, trying to remember why I'd thought this was ever a good idea and ruminating on everything he and Judah had said.

I knew I deserved the spanking, but admitting it felt like taking part in it somehow.  And that was too much.

-----------------

For the Beauty of the Earth

For the beauty of the earth

For the glory of the skies,

For the love which from our birth

Over and around us lies.

Refrain:

Lord of all, to Thee we raise,

This our hymn of grateful praise.

For the beauty of each hour,

Of the day and of the night,

Hill and vale, and tree and flower,

Sun and moon, and stars of light.

Refrain

For the joy of human love,

Brother, sister, parent, child,

Friends on earth and friends above,

For all gentle thoughts and mild.

Refrain